Home > Catching everyone up, Dad died, 2 flat, new job

Catching everyone up, Dad died, 2 flat, new job

March 9th, 2018 at 05:01 pm

Hi all

Catching everyone up.

Dad passed away suddenly Monday. Atheroschelerosis.. hardening of the arteries.. believe it was a heart attack. Good way to go as it was quick and sudden. He was done eating lunch at Silverado, walked to his room and collapsed

Very sad shocking stressful.

I got the call at work and left immediately. It was my first day and I left at 1pm. That felt stressful too but folks understood. I left shaking and crying.

I am the power of attorney, trustee of the trust and executor of the will and only local relative. There are 3 total kids though. I am the youngest and only girl. LOTS of work getting everything ready and taking care of arrangements for Dad and coordinating everyone else.

Service and viewing is Sunday 1:30. Dad wanted to be cremated. We will have a 3 hour service, have a Deacon say prayers mid way through and visit and then go out to eat. A candle was lit at the Notre Dame grotto for Dad too which was nice and someone is setting up 'perpetual prayers'. Mostly family is coming and some of my friends will drop in and out. Dad's long time girlfriend, Rogene, wants it small and intimate

Having someone die and returning to work in an office setting (even for 4 hours) really crystalizes that I am burnt out w the office setting program management role and want to enjoy life more. I only did an hour formal intro of policies at work and then got my laptop working so did not do anything substantial or meet many people. I suspect when I have something to do and make friends and have a permanent desk (they are going through a reorg of the seating chart so I am "squatting") I will like it more but I was stressed and not sure I liked it.. and then Silverado called so not a super awesome 'test' of my first day.

It crystalizes that life is short too and precious. Some of the staff where Dad was may come too which is very nice. Sortof emotional and stressful.

I 'met' several people this week with the Catholic Church, hospital, funeral home and others and there are so many other jobs I can do and still do well. I am really burned out and stressed.

I have been scattered the last 4 weeks w school too. Last quarter ended last week Monday but I asked for an extension and was granted one til Friday (today) but realistically folks are flying in today (now) and I do not think I can complete all papers by tonight. I feel I have been working 24 hours a day on the arrangements and have not had time to grieve either. I took off this week from work but folks are not leaving til Monday and again I have had no time. I am thinkinkg of asking if I can return Tuesday or preferably Wednesday.

Also thinking of getting Spiritual Formation done and then asking if I can have til Monday to do Old Testament and Intercultural Ministry.

I am VERY STRESSED and do not want to be.

We are having everyone fly in that I have not seen for years I want to grieve, be sad, relax and enjoy the 'reunion' and hopefully get the family off on a different foot so we stay in contact.

What do you guys think? Do you think it is too much to ask for school extensions til Monday and Work til Tuesday or Wednesday.

We have to spread the ashes too when folks are in town.

Very stressed.

2 flat passed today.


15 Responses to “Catching everyone up, Dad died, 2 flat, new job”

  1. Carol Says:

    First, I am very sorry for your loss. And sorry it happened on your first day, when you probably already were a nervous wreck.
    Ask for the extensions. I needed quiet after my mom died. Sounds like that won't happen for you for a while yet. Too much, too much. Take care, Rachael.

  2. CB in the City Says:

    I'm very sorry for your loss, and also sorry that it happened when you were already under stress. Take care of yourself in the coming days as you work through your grief. I am glad you have friends and family to help.

  3. creditcardfree Says:

    I think you need to ask for the extensions. Better to ask than push yourself so hard. I'm so sorry for your sudden loss. May the good memories sustain you in your grief. I do hope that the family arriving can provide you some peace during this time.

  4. Sallyr70 Says:

    Sorry about your Dad. Frown It's a rough, emotional time, and dealing with the estate on top of grieving.... I've been there. Just remember, when it seems like you can't go on, over time it will get better. Take care.

  5. Rachael777 Says:

    Thanks all. I DID ask for extensions and got extensions on school work to Tuesday end of day and work I can return Tuesday or Wednesday. Breathing a little sigh of relief but got to pick up people shortly here.

  6. Wife of the Deacon Says:

    I'm sorry to hear of your dad's passing. Was it SS Peter and Paul that you're dealing with? I think your dad was in Naperville? And if you need addidtional time, it should be requested and granted as you aren't needing these grades to graduate this semester.

    Take care of yourself. Prayers for you.

  7. Wink Says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. I do hope you can find a few peaceful moments from time to time over the next few days. It's important to take care of yourself during such stressful times.

  8. snafu Says:

    Condolences,I'm so sorry for your loss. {{{hugs}}} I hope you will allow the others in the family to looks after you and the others who cared so much for your dad. Take the time you need, the others will understand your grief over the loss. Sending prayers for strength through this difficult time.

  9. Bluebird Says:

    Rachael, I'm so very sorry for your loss. I'm glad you requested and received the extensions. Please take the time you need and be kind to yourself {{hugs}}

  10. rob62521 Says:

    I am very sorry for your loss. Hope you have a good support system.

  11. FrugalTexan75 Says:

    I'm sorry for your loss. Frown

  12. PatientSaver Says:

    I am sorry for your loss. Much of what you expressed about feeling time is short is something I felt, too, after my mother's passing. I am glad you got the extension of time. Family comes first. Take the time you need, and then hopefully you can return to work with a clearer understanding of if and how this particular job fits into your life and meets your needs.

  13. Rachael777 Says:

    Thanks everyone. I will do a new post to catch everyone up. I really appreciate the comments and support. Smile

  14. Rose. Says:

    I am new here, but I am so sorry for your loss. No amount of time ever seems like enough, but I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

  15. LivingAlmostLarge Says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. Please take care of yourself.

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