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another update w Dad

March 10th, 2015 at 04:38 pm

Another update w Dad. I am so stressed and upset.

Rogene (Dad's girlfriend) JUST sent a text that Dad called the Cadillac place for a new set of keys.. she has hidden them and he thinks they are lost which is why he called them.

I feel helpless and stressed I am out here but it makes me feel like or think (rightly or wrongly). why doesn't Rogene just say he is not able to drive and she is not giving him the keys.. why does she text me and just let it happen??

Will call that attorney guy.

leaving for a work trip very soon and find it hard to concentrate on much else w this insanity going on.

I ahd already called the police on this stuff before and they are not able to do anything unless he breaks the law.. removing the drivers license requires a competency hearing. removing the car from the premises requires Guardianship.. if against his will.

Posted in Musings | 8 Comments »

8 Responses to “another update w Dad”

  1. michdado Says:
    March 10th, 2015 at 05:09 pm 1426007389
    1426007389

    5 - can you call the dealership directly and explain your situation. Perhaps ask to speak to the manager. Temporary.. and may not be helpful. But just a thought. I know these things can be taxing...

  2. Another Reader Says:
    March 10th, 2015 at 05:22 pm 1426008169
    1426008169

    In most states the DMV will move to revoke or at least suspend until the matter is resolved. Call them, not the police department. However, that might not keep him from driving. Getting the car is critical.

    You mentioned your brother. Can he help? Do you have any other siblings that would help?

  3. Another Reader Says:
    March 10th, 2015 at 05:27 pm 1426008457
    1426008457

    Also, you need a medical evaluation. Will he go to his doctor? Can Rogene get him there for a "check up"? If the doctor will evaluate him and determine he is not competent, you should have a much easier time moving the process forward.

  4. Another Reader Says:
    March 10th, 2015 at 05:38 pm 1426009087
    1426009087

    The requirements to start the revocation process are here.

    http://www.cyberdriveillinois.com/departments/drivers/drivers_license/medical_vision.html

    His doctor can request an investigation. Get him into the doctor, get the dementia "staged" by the doctor (there are some tests), and get the guardianship process started. If Rogene moved out tomorrow, what would you do?

  5. Rachael777 Says:
    March 10th, 2015 at 06:01 pm 1426010496
    1426010496

    thanks for all the thoughts.

    I called the dealership. they are delaying until the end of next week. saying they have to order the correct key thing

    Dad is in Wisconsin. .preliminary talk w atttorney says rules are I can not have guardianship if I do not live in Wisconsin. that is the law in Milwukee County. he lives right next to Milwaukee county in Waukesha County. will talk to him today.. (but on my way to airport in 30 minutes for work). VERY STRESSFUL..

    thanks AR for DMV info. I downloaded appropriate forms from the Wi DMV and will read over at the airport etc.. but in general they require am assessmemnt to act..

  6. Another Reader Says:
    March 10th, 2015 at 06:05 pm 1426010736
    1426010736

    Get the assessment. Get Rogene to get him to the doctor, preferably before you get back from your trip.

  7. Rachael777 Says:
    March 10th, 2015 at 06:05 pm 1426010740
    1426010740

    and Dad will not voluntarily go the Dr anymore.. however we have some medical reports (that Rogene has not sent me or does not have) from a few months ago where she says he was diagnosed w dementia.

    and other siblings . one in Portland. and one is a truck driver(both not involved)

  8. Another Reader Says:
    March 10th, 2015 at 09:30 pm 1426023032
    1426023032

    IIRC, in California doctors have a duty to report people that should not be allowed to drive to the DMV. Call his doctor's office and ask them what needs to be done to get the dementia diagnosis sent to the Wisconsin DMV. Tell them he can no longer be allowed to drive. They should know what needs to be done, as this in not the first time this issue has come up.

    Maybe the doctor's office can call him to schedule a "routine check up" when Rogene is at home. She can make the appointment with his knowledge and drive him to the doctor. The doctor can probably take it from there.

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