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The Dad update-Alzheimers, week 5 in assisted living

June 12th, 2015 at 06:34 am

Hi all

(always have to have a rental update!) All rents are in but have 2 properties vacant and trying to rent or engaged in fix up.

Dad update. We are in week FIVE. Feels like it has been several years. Week 5 of his move in to assisted living near my house.

Week one, fell, hurt his shoulder
Week 2, got lost for 5 hours, took away the car. Car is sitting in my driveway
Week 3, calling 911 every day reporting me for theft
Week 4, shoved a nurse and was admitted per procedure to the ER and then to the psych hospital near by

Week 5. as the POA specifically prohibits me from signing him in to a mental health facility, I was not able to sign him in. Dad refused to do so. Dad stayed there 10 days so far and is scheduled to be released back today. However assisted living says that as he was never voluntarily admitted they can not take mental health care place's word that he is not a danger to himself or anyone else and are requiring me to get a 'sitter' to be with him 24 hours a day for 5 days up to 14 days while they evaluate. This is paid for out of pocket. $600 a day. If he is felt to be not a danger to himself or others. he will be allowed to stay. otherwise he will be 'immediately discharged'. I explained I have no where for him to go and they did not appear to care and said I should work on a backup plan. Anyway. health care worker set up... $23 hour and they will re-eval Tuesday.

Cost is crazy and whole situation is crazy.

Since Dad moved down here I hsve been getting calls on or for Dad every day through the day and it is very hard to concentrate and get things done. I have had to leave work several times, take off work..Just crazy. Exhausting and unclear. I HOPE he can stay at this place and makes me angry they would discharge him. they are supposed to have an Alzheimer floor and they said they did but there was no room on it. I am feeling overwhelmed, angry and stressed.

Dad's house should close soon. I will go up to the closing myself and sign for him., Not bringing Dad.

I will sell his car this week (list it and then if not sold, sell to Carmax) and trying to get a handle on his finances

Dad is not the Dad I knew even 4 weeks ago.. he is progressing VERY fast downhill

Sad, upsetting stressful

Have a senior law attorney friend. called him and he helped me through all the above but he says it sounds like Dad has frontal lobe alzheimers .. the aggressive kind?

6 Responses to “The Dad update-Alzheimers, week 5 in assisted living”

  1. laura/deacon's wife Says:


    I am sorry. You are no doubt doing everything that you can to deal with the situation at hand and try to maintain your own life. My hope is that your dad finally transitions, the matters of his property are concluded quickly, and that you can peace of mind.

  2. AnotherReader Says:

    Find another place with a locked Alzheimer's ward. These people don't want to deal with him, because he is violent. In your shoes, I would do this today. Also, talk to his doctor ASAP. He may have to be medicated.

  3. Rachael777 Says:

    Dad is on meds from the psych hospital and less agitated and the assisted living place we have him in has a Alzheimer floor but it is full. Got 3 referrals for other places and will today
    it is significantly more to be in alzheimers locked ward/floor. Current place said people only leave Alzheimers floor when they pass normally and all the folks up there look relatively healthy..

  4. Rachael777 Says:

    also, towards Another Readers point. my attorney friend (elder law) says he felt that Dad was on his last legs at the current assisted living place anyway and that they may not want him there.

  5. AnotherReader Says:

    Yes, the assisted living place wants him out. Too much work, too much risk, too disturbing to other residents. They don't evict directly, they make it impossible for him to stay.

    You need a locked ward with drug administration. Once the money runs out, he needs to go on Medicaid, so try to find a place that will transition him if it becomes necessary. Otherwise he may go to a Medicaid nursing home if the money runs out.

    Sad, but that's the reality of Alzheimer's care.

  6. LivingAlmostLarge Says:

    Good luck and prayers. Try asking for placement through a social worker. Specifically look for a hospital social worker who may have connections to get in him faster due to the situation. I am so sorry this is a really rough time.

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