At this point just diarying..
Not my usual (hopefully) upbeat self.
REALLY REALLY down and discouraged.
Both work at home jobs fell throough.. no word from my old boss but do not have super hope w that. Each day at work is worse and worse. It is unbelievable to me that I have to go back there tomorrow and next week and whatever
I hate it. Rush hour back.. no matter what time I leave is at least an hour and a half.
I am exhausted after work (not from work.. work is easy) from the drive.. feet hurt.. back hurts.. stressed out of my mind. ANGRY (at who. I do not know.. LIFE .. ME!!??)
I am SO ANGRY AND FRUSTRATED
I jhave moments of calm where I am tryign to think of ways to immprove things/not focus on it/be positive/get productive.. whatever.. whatever.... today I listened to 'Oprah' on xm (get my mind off it) but really that can only last so long.. I am in the carfor an hour and half stop and go.. Friday is coming up.I can not imagine what that traffic will be like..and there is NO WAY OUT. I have to drive home and no matter when I do.. it is the same rush hour trafic..leaving at 3pm is just as bad..
I am feeeling sortof like the life and enjoyoment is being sucked out of me. I am so tired all the time.
Main home refinance.. still ongoing. my frustration w that is probably because I am so angry and stressed and TIRED all the time
Anyway.. they raised the points to 2.. so 4 points total.. 2 to broker, 2 to bank, 6%, 30 years, 5 year arm. they raised hte loan to $315k to cover all costs. I do not want to add debt w this so was trying to pay it all myself. (I did not know they need taxes paid in full thsi uyear. was hoping to use that towards costs).. SSTILL FAXING in endless docs.. They think house will appraise at $525k. I am SO DISCOURAGED AND UPSET..can not think anymore.
Just VERY DISCOURAGED and impacting everything
Loan payment would be over $1100 less than what it is now..
I was thinking of selling my car today (truck) just so I could take some time off and search for a job that way. I seriously can NOT imagine showing up again day after day after day. I need to maintain working w a paychedck while this loan goes through..
I am also thinking (and you can think I am insane and post comments ) of getting a doctors note that I injured my foot, broke my leg whatever, totalled my car.. ANYTHING so I can work at home for a week or two to get my head on straight and get hopefully a good start on job searching. Absent htat I will ask my boss if I can work at home starting next week for 2 days (norm is 1 day after 3 months) I can not last that long.
In the contracct world.. jobs come fast. so really from the time I get contacted to 'hearing if hired or not' is generally 2- 3 weeks and just having that RESOLVED will lower my stress and discouragemnet 10 million fold. .. even if I start 2 weeks after that
That and having this loan CLOSE and the 6 homes smoothed out
I do not have energy to deal w 6 homes right now.
Updates,. job, main home refinance